Smile, smile, smile, and smile some more! Show the world those pearly whites! Let them all see how perfectly happy and immune to all other human emotions you are. Just keep on smiling all day, no matter what comes your way. As a song by Louis Armstrong says, ‘When you’re smilin’….keep on smilin’
The whole world smiles with you
And when you’re laughin’….keep on laughin’
The sun comes shinin’ through’
This seems to be the ideal behind the smiling women of American society today. I was forced to admit that smiling is not an expression of happiness for women in our society when Amy Cunningham imparted her observations and opinions on this social phenomenon in ‘Why Women Smile.’ A smile is now just a farce that is used to conceal true emotions, thoughts and opinions. The way women embody societal conformity today is by making themselves thoroughly attractive and seeming unaffected by all of their problems. One way of doing this is by plastering beautiful, charming, friendly, resigned or forced smiles on their faces no matter what the occasion might be. Women play a variety of roles in today’s world including that of mother, daughter, sister, professional athlete, CEO, business owner, doctor, pilot, teacher, sales clerk, and banker, to name a few. The smiling woman is becoming a more common phenomenon due the emergence of more ‘professional’ women. Despite the increased equality between genders, and the ‘equal opportunities’ provided to women today, they are still required to show only one emotion in workplaces or at home- real or feigned happiness. ‘Smile when you want to scream, smile when you are having a bad day, smile when you are at work, smile when you get home, and smile when you are so tired all you want is a bath and sleep.’ Society has imprinted these thoughts into the hearts and brains of all women. Some of my earliest memories are of my mother telling me to, ‘Smile nicely at your auntie,’ ‘Smile for the camera,’ and, ‘You’re a big girl now; big girls don’t cry. Wipe those tears off your face. Smile.’
Though this may not seem important, it grooms women to hide all emotions and thoughts behind their smiles. I remember feeling very upset about having to go to a family friend’s home where there would be a gathering of boring adults. I was just six and there were no other children there. All I felt like doing was wailing at the top of my lungs and begging my parents to take me somewhere fun. Instead, because the habit was ingrained in me by then, I smiled politely for the rest of the evening. Not once did I show anything but perfect satisfaction at being exactly where I was. I’m sure all of us have had to plaster on that polite smile numerous times throughout our lives.
As a teenager experiencing all the angst of that time period, I recall many days when all I wanted to do was throw temper tantrums and cry about how unfair the world was. I wanted to wear nothing but black, I did not want to go anywhere ‘un-cool,’ and I did not want to associate with my ‘dumb and insane parents,’ who never understood anything. I realize now that I was insane one. My poor parents had to have patience with me all through this rebellious period. However, I did not lose the habit of smiling politely to hide my emotions even then. On the other hand, I frequently laugh genuinely at funny jokes or occurrences and do sometimes smile from nothing but happiness. Receiving a sincere compliment, or watching my younger sister’s antics while she dances to music, are real reasons for joy or mirth. More often than not, though, the smile is nothing but a ‘default’ expression that I, like most women, use to deal with or greet those people that I am not on an informal basis with.
More and more women smile not for the sake of pleasure, but for the sake of pleasing. Smiles have become nothing but a tool with which to handle everyday situations for women everywhere. The only way to change this is by using the same tool that instigated this societal change- the mass media. The media portrays women ‘as they should be.’ They should all be ‘beautiful’ according to a set standard, they should be professional, and they should never, ever stop smiling. To stop forcing women to smile, the representation of the ‘ideal woman’ in the media must be changed to make her human once again, instead of a smiling, perfect Betty Crocker-like robot or a Tyra Banks like goddess of beauty. Otherwise, women everywhere will continue to smile no matter what the reality may be.
